I created this image to talk about something completely different, but God had other plans, here is a little bit about me…
I am half Salvadoran and half Honduran; I grew up in a big loud family. My parents didn’t drink, but our family's way of spending time together was music, food and drinking. I loved bachata, merengue, I love to dance, and of course to drink. Before I met my husband, that was my life.
I met Jesus after we had our second baby, and those things started feeling wrong. I started changing what I listened to, I slowed down on my drinking and I knew the club wasn’t where I was supposed to be any more, so I gave it all up.
Fast forward to 7 years ago, I no longer listened to secular music, (I don’t think it is wrong if you do) but for me personally, that is all tied together, is like when Christmas lights are tangled…the music leads to the drinking that leads to sin … I wish it wasn’t like that, but it is, the issue is that I left that life behind BUT my husband didn’t. We had a huge blow up that Fall and instead of me standing firm on who I was, I started doubting myself.
Instead of giving it to God and praying, I decided I was going to do what made ME happy. I mean God wants us to be happy right? How can some dancing and drinking (heavily) not make me happy? Is who I was before, my husband wasn’t making me happy so why not go back to my life before it was filled with hurt and anxiety? What made this easier was that my family was so excited to see me drink again, because I was criticized for being boring or thinking I was better than them because I was trying to be a woman of God! The enemy had me believing that maybe that’s why my husband was unhappy, because I was not a fun person anymore, I had to control everything!
I had never been as depressed as I was during that time, I had to go to the doctor and get medicine for a while. See, the enemy lies and has us thinking that it is so fun, to make our selves happy, but once you give your life to Christ, what glorifies HIM makes us joyful, and at peace.
My husband is sober now (Praise God), I still love to dance at weddings etc I NOW feel comfortable doing that…the Christmas lights are untangling, we are doing so well. But even now our families still say comments like, you don’t listen to secular music? Would you like a sip of my drink? It makes me mad to have to defend our decisions but as much as I love them, I love God more. It is not always easy, we are human, we are NOT perfect, but I am going to stand strong to break those chains that tradition has over us, I want more for my kids.
That life that made me so “Happy” also almost broke me, but God.
I am being led to say this:
All the changes that happened in our marriage and in my home were from lots of tears and prayers… it didn’t happen overnight, and it didn’t happen until I allowed God to change the desires of MY heart. Once I did that, everything else fell into place, I stopped looking at what my husband wasn’t doing and focused on how God could change me. IT IS NOT EASY, especially when they keep messing up, but God.